I glimpsed on the horizon
Splayed wings and torn flesh
The rotting remains of a broken bird,
Ripped open; a violent end.
Tentatively I approached.
Here was pain
And death.
Suddenly in focus-
It was no bird at all!
But two, delicate leaves
Sheltering a cluster of bright berries,
Sustenance for winter.
Here was life
Not death.
I walked on into the morning
Wondering at my wasted dread
And all I had lost through fear.
Thoughts locked inside
A myriad of ideas
A thoroughly tangled multitude,
Writhing, frustrated;
Compressed energy with nowhere to go.
The key to free them isn’t there
Gone missing:
There is no time to seek it
Yet when there is the urge ignored.
Inspiration is forgotten,
Creativity in desolation cries.
The heavy mass grows larger.
Pressure builds
And I am ever sadder and despondent.
Life and time goes by
And I did not do what I could.
It is time now to pick the lock.
S. Joubert
A chapter is now ended
Tentative tendrils to the past
Are now severed.
No more nostalgia
For alchemy and fate.
I am where I should be
Aligned with Earth; grounded and sensuous,
Though cleansed by ever changing Water,
It was alluring, but not for me
Slipping through my fingers,
Never constant, never mine
Instead
I have chosen rock.
S. Joubert
Treasure people: hold them,
Let them warm you,
Keep close their faults and foibles
When they are gone these things will be the affectionate keepsakes to which you cling.
Let your eyes feast on them,
Their candid expression when they think they’re unobserved.
Savour their essence
So that when they leave
As leave they must
You will have a chest full of treasures to take out and hold dear,
When hunger for their presence
Is to great to fill with tears.
S. Joubert
“Hi! My name is Good Fairy Sarah. My magical dell is 213 where I can be contacted for all your needs magical or otherwise.”
What was I thinking?? I am such an idiot! I thought only girls were allowed on Main 2? No one told me male counsellors would be bringing up bags into the campers rooms. I thought it was a cute way of introducing myself to the kids because ‘Hello I’m Sarah’ seemed a bit boring and I thought it fit in with the glittery eye shadow. It never occurred to me that it could be taken in a rude way!! I have had to endure a day of assorted smirks and wise cracks about what a good fairy is and can they come visit my magical dell? I have spent much of the afternoon with a face redder than my counsellor shirt. Oh well. I thought I could come out here where no one knows me and be all cool, but it seems I am still me!
It is now the end of Session 1 Opening Day and we are all on floor duty to make sure the new campers are sleeping. Main 2 is decorated with a serious amount of my handiwork. Once Karen discovered I could draw I found myself churning out butterflies, flowers and posters with bubble writing at an alarming rate. I also just ate a really disgusting tuna sandwich because I was starving and there was no alternative. I hope this doesn’t become a midnight habit but I suspect it may.
Anyway, there are a few days to catch up on so I need to go back a bit. The bus with all the counsellors arrived on Friday and all the ‘techies’ and staff that had done pre-camp came down to the lobby to identify ‘hotties’ as Karen calls them so they could begin planning their conquests. Summer romance is definitely not on the cards for me here. Things are far too strategic but I think may also be highly entertaining to watch play out. It is only day four and already there are ‘hook ups’ and ‘dramas’, (more vocabulary I am acquiring!) and even some break ups! The quality and pace of gossip is immense! Who needs the Big Brother House?
On the Friday evening we had a welcome meeting where Konnie who has been here forever, ( also of Dolly World) got us to describe Disney World in exchange for little monsters called ‘Ugly Bugglies’. I really wanted one but was too shy to say anything and the vast majority of people here do not appear to have an issue with this. Everyone is loud which became even more apparent when people had to start introducing each other. I laughed a lot but wanted the floor to swallow me when I had to do it. Since then we have had orientations for the pool, rules for dealing with campers , a trip to get a social security number and one to Walmart worthy of detailed description at another time. There was a staff show; people are so talented here, even the chef plays guitar and sings. There have also been frequent late night visits to Bum & Kell’s where much of the gossip is created. I am absolutely loving it.
I have been given my show to design which is Good Wives. It is in the Merman, an underground black box theatre next to the indoor pool. It does feel a bit like doing a show in a damp basement but my director Brian, ( stage combat specialist- how exciting!) and Geordie Nick my stage manager are fun so all is well. Karen has also given me the dubious honour of this session’s most high profile celebrity camper. Yikes! My campers all seem really cute but I am nervous. I hope I do a good job of the show and being a counsellor.
Oh and lastly our final room mate arrived. She is from Long Island and her sister is a camper here. Tess, Trish and I gamely offered to bring her things up. It was exhausting! I can’t believe how much stuff she has, more than the campers and they have a LOT of stuff. Our joint selection of clothes was previously huddling itself in a corner of the closet for warmth. Now we can’t find anything because it is rammed with her outfits! My favourite comment that she made was that she had really struggled to narrow down her pyjama pants to 17 pairs!! What?!? How do you even own more than that?? Anyway on this ponderous question I bid you adieu. I am sleepy and need to retire and come up with some witty retorts in response to the plethora of rude fairy jokes I have inadvertently made myself the butt of. Good night.
June 2000
Painting for Alice Maisie, my week old niece. Welcome little Alice!
You and I tread the same path.
Though far away, I hear your footsteps fall beside mine.
Sometimes we climb cliffs together or leap in abandon on the sand!
Occasionally I become frightened, for yours is the softest of step.
But ear to earth I listen, and you remain, stride after stride.
For you are my Soul companion and, even apart we travel together.
S. Joubert
A Fairy's Tales 